Wednesday, April 27, 2011

3 Rants and a Baby!!

Festive: Mariah Carey had an Easter design painted ontoher belly over the weekend 

- For the love of all things stupid and annoying. Yes, you're preggers Mariah. We know. We can all see. You don't need to keep reminding us weekly by painting some juvenile paint-by-numbers pic on your stomach. Hurry up Carey/Cannon twins, let's get the ball rolling before Memorial Day, so I don't have to salute your damn mother's flag.

- It really is true, no one ever thinks their own kid is ugly. Which is unfortunate, because I've seen a bunch lately. Now with facebook, people's delusions are right out in the open. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but not every baby belongs in a beautiful baby contest.

- If I hear one more time that someone has done a "360", someone's getting a back hand. A 360 brings you back exactly where you were before, dumbass. Let's go with 180.

Sending my congrats to Jersey's newest parents, Sarah and Pesh. Welcome to the world, baby J!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

shopping or a family reunion?

Like most of the world, I do my shopping on the weekends, usually on Saturdays. I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson yet. Being a person who doesn't like crowds, or people for that matter, I shouldn't be out with so many. The worst place in the area is The Loop. Shoot me. I get so heated just thinking about it.

I understand that the weekends are the easiest time to get things done. People with jobs are so busy during the week, who has time to leisurely roam the aisles? If Saturday is the only day for you to be out, fine, but why does your entire family have to go with you?! Sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews, what the hell? Ok, so you're incapable of shopping alone, fine, but can't you stay together? Huddle yourselves up so I don't have to trip over your stupid kid. So you can't control where your 4 year old wants to go (a carriage would be my sugg) fine, but why then do you give them a friggin ball to bounce around the store?! Evidently "children should be seen and not heard or I will trip them" wasn't taught in your home.

I hate you and your family.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A real, actual death for daytime's biggest names

Credit: Mathew Imaging/FilmMagic; John Lamparski/WireImage

Erica Kane is gonna be pissed! ABC just announced the cancellation of both One Life To Live AND All My Children. After being on the air for over 40 yrs each, OLTL debuted in 1968; AMC in 1970, they have pulled the plug. The silver lining: General Hospital appears to be safe. Even though the story lines lately on that one have me contemplating pulling my own plug. I don't currently watch OLTL or AMC, but I grew up in a house with a mother who did. Every girl has a mom or an aunt or grandmother who watched/watches Soaps. The characters and families are just as a part of daytime broadcasting to most people as gameshows and Oprah or back in the day, Sally Jessie Raphael.

Still to this day, if I came across either show, I would know immediately who was on screen. If given a full hour, I would be able to catch up on a storyline simply by adding the new info to what I knew as a child. I was distraught when 90210 and Friends ended after 10 years. I am angry and annoyed when a show I watched for 2 seasons gets pulled. I can't even imagine what people who have watched and followed these characters their entire lives, must be feeling. I'm sure a lot of woman started watching these shows with their stay-at-home mothers and continue to share the show as a bond between them. It's unfortunate that bond will now be gone.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sweet boy with pink toes

This is an ad in the latest J. Crew catalog. It is a picture of J.Crew designer Jenna Lyons and her adorable son Beckett. The ad is for a grey-and-white Coastline-stripe pullover. As much as I like J. Crew, that is not the reason I'm writing.  The article written about the ad is the reason for this entry. While the article itself isn't offensive, reading some of the quotes and comments disappointed me. Beckett being a boy and his toes being pink, is apparently too much for people. The picture is a carefree, fun-loving moment between a mother and her son. It's not meant to push an agenda, as some comments may suggest.

Tom, you're killing me

Under no pressure, with no linebackers in sight, a contemplative moment?
Have you seen this man?

Tom, what's the problem? Why can't you just be hot, play football and get back to winning SBs? Enough with all the other stuff. First came the Bieber cut, which turned into a damn pony. Then you showed us your "dancing skills", while in Brazil. Now you're crying in interviews? WTF?!? Here I thought your low point was back in 2002 when you posed with a goat during a photo shoot.

An oldie but goodie -- this photo isn't from the recent Stetson spread, but from a GQ ad from Tom's past. <!-- // define variables var date = new Date(); var current_time = date.getTime(); // write SCRIPT tag to browser document.writeln(' '); // -->

Monday, April 11, 2011

I don't fancy myself a scholar, however.....

I can not stand when people misuse or misspell simple words. When I read status updates on Facebook, I imagine what GED educators must go through while grading papers. Now, in the interest of being honest, there are definitely times, where my fingers move faster than my brain, and I might misspell something. However, I am immediately filled with shame. Not looking like an idiot is very important to me, evidently, that's not a concern to many on Facebook. If I see one more "witch" instead of "which" or "weather" instead of "whether", I might scream. The other day I saw "one" in place of "won". Are you freaking kidding me?! How do these people hold down jobs, and pay bills, and survive?

Don't even get me started on they're, their, and there.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

what's with the low self esteem?

Judge me if you will, but sometimes I watch Teen Mom. I am a whore for reality tv, shoot me. Tonight I watched the reunion show. Sweet mother of God. These little piss ants are ridic. Chelsea, the one with the dead beat baby daddy finally got her act together and broke it off on the finale. Come reunion time, they are back on. WTF. He cheated on her multiple times, he looks like a heroin addict and he never has a nice thing to say about her. He has ruined almost every other relationship she has. Yet she keeps going back.

She is on Teen Mom, so she obviously has a track record of dumb ass decision making.

Friday, April 8, 2011


Lou Ferrigno/The Incredible Hulk? No that's record of my slumping Sox. 0-6. Sweet hell.  Now the Yanks are in town for the weekend. The only positive I can find is thank God the Sox don't have to play in NY with that lousy ass record. Ugh. Show up today, please!

For the love!!

Great start to the weekend. On Opening Day, no less.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Leann Rimes, go away

Leann, stop being "that" girl. Evidently your camera phone missed the memo on you wanting more privacy and less negative attention.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Celebs + babies = up my alley

There is nothing I love more than pregnant/adopting celebs! Because just as their lives are more interesting than ours, so are their pregnancies. Making it all the more exciting is that it is two of my favorite ladies! Tina Fey just admitted that she is 5 months prego (5 months!) with her 2nd child. Mariska Hargitay (L & O SVU) just adopted a baby girl named Amaya Josephine and congrats!


I know things seem bad, but come on!

If this were football, I'd be a little concerned about the ridiculousness of the Sox start this season. But seeing as there is another 158 games, I'll keep my panic level to a minimum. That's not to say I'm not concerned with both the offensive and the pitching. But that's no reason to jump ship, kid. Relax.

Monday, April 4, 2011

My Dos and you better nots

I hate necklaces worn with one shoulder dresses!  (if there was ever a chance of a man reading this blog, that just went out the window) Anyway, I can't stand it, the neckline is the necklace! Wear some large, chunky bangles, or a fantastic cocktail ring, but leave the necklace at home. GRRR. Now that's just my personal opinion. In fact, right next to me is the latest issue of Lucky, and there in all her glory is Ginnifer Goodwin, rocking a massive necklace with a one shoulder dress.

Friday, April 1, 2011

to spend or not to spend

Today I did nothing more than wish for things that aren't going to happen. I wished for the snow to be over and warm weather to arrive, open the window.....sorry. I wished for a very successful, attractive, engaging man with a sexy accent and a filled passport to be by my side when I woke up. Rolled, no. I wished to be independently wealthy where vacationing was my job and giving to charity was my hobby. Called the bank to check my balance, 0-3.

I really want a Kindle.  With my limited funds, the less time I spend outside, the less money I spend.

My B-card

So, I'm unemployed. There I said it, let's move on. The thing about unemployment that sucks is that now you have the time to do all those great things you think you're missing while employed, but now you don't have the money to do them. I would like to think that if I had money my life would be so much better, you wanna know why I think that? Because it's true. People say that money doesn't buy you happiness, I agree, but I'd rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable.

Enough about not having a job. I'm over it, TG (thank god) for that government check that comes in the mail, or this would REALLY suck.