Raise Your Hand if You're Surprised

Who said they wouldn't last? Umm, everyone. And everyone was right. Kourtney and Kim Take New York is gonna be REALLY uncomfortable. I can't wait.


How much do you think I can get for a divorce special?



where you going, Kris?



In other shocking news: Jessica 6 months pregnant Simpson finally admitted to being knocked up. In a one of those cheesy ways girls like to announce they're preggo, expect with professional hair and makeup.



"I'm gonna be a mummy". Real original, Jess.



Remind me not to drink the water!!

**So evidently the cool thing to do these days is to get pregnant. Shit is an epidemic. During the span of about 6 days, three people told me they were with child, all 12 weeks along, to be exact. F. That's a lot of hormones. Don't come calling me when you're pushing that monster out. As much as I do love a baby, and I do, that's a lot of babies coming...in a short amount of time.

**When is the last time you were shocked to end up at a toll booth? Probably not very often because 1) they tell you as you get on a highway that it is a toll road, and 2) because they give you about 67 heads up on the way to the damn booth. So why is it that I have to wait behind the jackass who is trying to fish through his console for spare change at the window?

**TOTALLY off subject: What is it with murders or whatever doing what they can to avoid the death penalty? If I were on trial for murder (which I'm hoping to never be) and it was life in prison w/o the possibility of parole and the death penalty...sign me up for the chair...or table...or firing squad. The food, the living conditions, the outfits.... I'm all set with spending 50+ years behind bars.

what's with the low self esteem?

Judge me if you will, but sometimes I watch Teen Mom. I am a whore for reality tv, shoot me. Tonight I watched the reunion show. Sweet mother of God. These little piss ants are ridic. Chelsea, the one with the dead beat baby daddy finally got her act together and broke it off on the finale. Come reunion time, they are back on. WTF. He cheated on her multiple times, he looks like a heroin addict and he never has a nice thing to say about her. He has ruined almost every other relationship she has. Yet she keeps going back.

She is on Teen Mom, so she obviously has a track record of dumb ass decision making.

Celebs + babies = up my alley

There is nothing I love more than pregnant/adopting celebs! Because just as their lives are more interesting than ours, so are their pregnancies. Making it all the more exciting is that it is two of my favorite ladies! Tina Fey just admitted that she is 5 months prego (5 months!) with her 2nd child. Mariska Hargitay (L & O SVU) just adopted a baby girl named Amaya Josephine ....love and congrats!